The sudden passing of my sweet Uncle reminded me of the passing of my dad only two years prior, also in October. My family relatives are laid to rest at a family cemetery near my grandparents farm in Idaho.
I remember when my dad passed, there were many kind things people did to help carry our burdens. I’d like to share a few things to say or do when you really don’t know what to do or say.
- Say Something. Oft times, when you just can’t understand the pain they’re going through, be it divorce, death, losing a job, etc., sometimes you say nothing because you don’t know what to say. But saying nothing means the person receives no signs of love and support from you during this time. Sending a card something along the lines of, “I can’t imagine how difficult this is, but I mourn with you,” “Sending my prayers your way” or sharing a memory you have with that person will just let the them know that you care. Doing so will help them carry even the tiniest bit of their burden.
- Send a real, physical card. Whether or not you decide to send flowers or donate to a charity in their name, there is just something about sending a physical card. When my dad passed away, lots of friends and family sent Facebook messages, emails, and texts. I appreciated that. A few of my friends, however, took the time to pick out a card, write a sweet message and memory of him, and mail it to me. I still have those cards today. With phones and computers always on the go, a text or email is so easy to send. But knowing someone took the extra step to send a card says a lot more than the words you write within.
- Remember their anniversary. A year after my father passed away, I received a card in the mail. It was my Aunt, acknowledging the anniversary of his passing, with some loving and supportive words. It is so comforting to know that he is still remembered by others, even if just for a day. Whether it’s for the passing of someone, a miscarriage anniversary, or a heartbreaking diagnosis, consider sending another card a few months to a year out.